


Pals and Kiddos

by Beautiful_Doom



Category: Borderlands, Don't Starve (Video Game), Tales from the Borderlands - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Jack Hates Spiders, Jack Knows How to Farm, M/M, Mentions of past child abuse, Rhys Loves the Beefalo, Survival, Those Freaking Hounds, Vasquez Hecked Up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-29
Updated: 2016-08-02
Packaged: 2018-07-27 12:39:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7618441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beautiful_Doom/pseuds/Beautiful_Doom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Vasquez tries to impress Jack with a mysterious machine, it transports Jack and his PA Rhys into the world of Don't Starve. Between Maxwell's taunts, the land's unforgiving nature, and Jack and Rhys's slowly slipping sanity, they have their work cut out for them if they want to get back home. But of course, there's always a price to pay...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Throw the Switch!

Hugo P. Vasquez was angry.

Simply speaking, he was mad that Rhys of all people had been promoted to be Jack's PA. Not that he wanted the job himself, but he sure as hell didn't want Rhys to have it. Not if Jack wasn't going to murder him. Not to mention that a few key people had said that Vasquez was slipping in his job performance. Hell, you'd think the only reason he got the job was because the guy before him had died. 

Oh, wait... 

Regardless, he needed something that would wow Jack. Something that would show that Vasquez deserved his undeserved spot. Something that would prove Vasquez's mettle. Normal guns and weapons were a dime a dozen, Jack had seen them all before. No, if he was going to impress the CEO, he'd need to create something big. Something different. He was busy pacing his lavish apartment, trying to think of what he could do. What kind of weapon could he create that would make him stand out from the others? Of course he could always go find a vault, but he'd heard too many stories of painful deaths and decided not to get his hands so dirty. Besides, it's not like the vaults were going anywhere. Better start small and then work his way up to a vault. 

But still, Vasquez couldn't think of anything even as he racked his brain. Grenades weren't too big in the market. Everyone was all about rocket launchers. But really, how could you improve a rocket launcher? Press button, launch rocket, target goes boom. Simple science and not enough areas to improve in. Besides, the biggest model was almost impossible to top, much to Jack's chagrin. He'd murdered quite a few people when he discovered his engineers had no real way to make a better launcher. 

Vasquez sighed and sat in a leather armchair, still thinking about what he could do. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts, he didn't even notice his echo comm light up. 

"Say pal," it said in a distorted voice. "You look like you need some help with a project." 

Vasquez started and looked around the room, eyes finally falling on his echo comm. He picked it up, but the screen was alight with white noise. Was it busted? 

"Who the hell is this?" He asked in an annoyed tone. "Is someone pranking me? I'm not the kind of person to prank-" 

"Just a kindred soul," the voice interrupted him. "Couldn't help but notice you needed some help. You know, I have forbidden knowledge I could give you... if you want it." 

Vasquez frowned at the device, wondering what it meant. Well if it was a prank, it would probably be some tasteless joke about his mother. If it wasn't a prank, Hugo was smart enough to know what knowledge to use and what knowledge not to. 

"I don't like nameless time wasters," he growled. "When I find out who this is, I'll have you scrubbing toilets in the executive washroom for the rest of your career." 

"What a truly horrifying threat," the voice said sarcastically. "Do you want this knowledge or not? I can find some other bottom feeder to impart it to." 

"Fine, what is it?" Hugo asked. "The meaning of life? A joke about my mom? Prince Albert in a c-" 

But then Vasquez was suddenly surrounded in a billowing wind of light. Images and figures flashed before his eyes as the knowledge was forced into his mind. He couldn't move as it seemed to download directly into his brain, a dull pain accompanying it. When it was over, a shocked looking Hugo smiled. He knew what he had to do. 

~O~ 

"Huh, Vasquez is requesting an R&D lab," Rhys was looking through emails as he sat in Jack's office. It was a few days later, and no one had heard much from Vasquez until now. 

"A lab?" Jack looked up from his computer. "The hell does Wallethead need a lab for? Experimental hair implants?" He laughed at his joke. Rhys frowned as he scrolled through the email. 

"He says he's found a way to improve on the fast travel network and stations," Rhys said, looking over the figures provided. "And... it actually looks pretty promising?" 

"What?" Jack snatched Rhys's echopad and looked at it himself. "There's no way Wallethead thought of all this. No damn way. He musta stolen someone else's work." 

"Wouldn't be the first time," Rhys growled, having been the victim of just that in the past. He looked over Jack's shoulder at the echopad, the only person who could do so without getting a bullet in their head. All the figures and math looked like it could work, which made the idea that Vasquez had stolen the idea seem all the more legitimate. There was no way a smarmy ass-kisser like Vasquez could think this up. No. Damn. Way. 

"Well, let's watch this blow up in his face," Jack typed back a response. "I'll give him a lab, but he'll be closely monitored. I wanna know just what the hell he's trying to pull here. If he DID have this kind of knowledge all along I wanna know why he was holding out on me. If he's stealing someone else's work then we can shave his head and stick all kinds of shit to it. Make him walk around the damn station like that for a bit." He chuckled darkly and handed Rhys his echopad back. "Who knows? Maybe we'll both get a nice show out of it." 

"Still, I don't trust him," Rhys said. "I feel like this all could go really bad." He shook his head and went back to work. Jack poked him in the back of the head. 

"What's the worse that could happen? Those labs are heavily fortified. Even if it literally blows up, the worst that would happen is we'd need a pressure washer to get the guts off the ceiling," he said. "Lighten up, kiddo." 

Rhys rolled his eyes, but said nothing. 

~O~ 

It took Vasquez weeks to get everything done. Anyone who monitored him spoke of how changed he seemed to be. He was determined to get this done, but he was also determined to do it right. If it failed, he could kiss his comfy life goodbye. Jack would probably demote him to a position even worse than the janitor gig he'd once tried to saddle on Rhys. A lot was riding on this. He worked for a month until he was satisfied. The machine that was built didn't look too special, but Hugo was positive that he'd checked it a thousand times. The knowledge he'd been given had been tested and proven sound by dozens of people, and Vasquez was ready to show off to Jack. He sent an email to the CEO announcing its completion and inviting him to see a demonstration. Rhys was so going down... 

Jack came down for the demonstration a bit later. Rhys was trailing behind him, anxious for some reason. When he got to the lab, he stared at the machine. THIS was what Vasquez had built. Rhys didn't know what to make of it, but he was still convinced Vasquez had stolen it. Regardless, they still needed to see if it worked. 

"Wallethead!" Jack thumped Vasquez hard on the back with a grin. "So, you got a new toy to show me? Musta been hard work for you. Didn't know you liked to get your hands grimy like this..." It was a potshot at his work ethic, and Vasquez ignored it. He chose instead to smile smugly at Rhys and then tone it down for the CEO. 

"Well I'm always happy to work hard for you, sir. Scrounged this together and thought you might like it," he walked over to the machine and tuned to Jack for his reaction. 

"This?" Jack looked disappointed. "Looks like nothing. Not badass at all. Wallethead, you know Hyperion's all about the badass. If this shit works, we gotta outfit it to make it look marketable. That's gonna cost time and money. So there's your strike one." He raised one finger and Vasquez paled slightly. He really should've thought about at least painting some flames on it or something. 

"I-I understand, sir. But I thought you would prefer something that actually worked as opposed to something that looked cool," he said nervously. 

"Nope," Jack popped the 'p'. "You know how bandits are. It's all about style and image to them. You could sell them shit and they would buy it if it looked cool." He crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. "Rhys, should that count as strike two?" 

Vasquez looked over at Rhys, and the PA gave an innocent look. Vasquez knew it was bullshit and that the ass was enjoying this immensely. He'd wipe that smugness away soon enough. 

"Mmm... nah," said Rhys. "I mean, not everyone can think as smartly as you can, sir. Maybe we should cut him some slack. I mean, he probably burned his brain out because this is the most hard work I've seen him do in years." Vasquez grit his teeth at Rhys. He couldn't wait to get one over on that little prick. 

He cleared his throat and put his fake smile back on. "Thanks for that Rhys, really. Anyway, sir. This is the prototype for an improved version of the fast travel stations. It can transport people much faster and with less risks than the current ones. It can even connect to the network fro greater distances and transport to other stations much further away." 

"So you say," said Jack. "But I'm not singing any praises until I see it in action. Hold on one moment, though." Vasquez nearly frowned when he saw Jack clip a shield to himself and then one on Rhys. Those were top notch shields, too. Vasquez knew the implication before Jack even opened his mouth. "Just in case you're full of shit," Jack said. he chuckled and gestured for Vasquez to turn it on. 

Vasquez cleared his throat again and switched the machine on. 

At first, nothing happened. But then the machine lit up and the screen came to life. It showed a successful connection to the fast travel network and then brought up a menu of every station it had, letting the user choose where to go. Jack raised an eyebrow again and walked over to look closer at the machine. 

"Huh," he mused. "Well I'll be damned. Looks like it really works. Maybe I was wrong about you, Walleth-" 

Suddenly, the machine began to spark and grind. The screen went to static and blare an alarm. 

"The hell?" Jack stood back. "Wallethead, what's going on?" 

"But before Vasquez could answer, an odd face appeared on the screen of the machine and maniacal laughter rang out. Jack narrowed his eyes and drew his pistol, aiming it at Vasquez. 

"The HELL did you build-" 

"Jack, look out!" Rhys cried out as a shadowy hand appeared from the ground. Jack had no time to react as he was grabbed and drug under, disappearing completely. Rhys rushed forward to help, but he was grabbed as well, and he met the same fate as Jack. The last thing he saw was Vasquez's pale sweaty face, and then all went black.


	2. Say Pal, You don't Look so Good...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack and Rhys find themselves somewhere new. And someone new finds them.

Rhys could tell right away that he was no longer on Helios.

For one thing, the metallic floor had been replaced with... grass? Rhys hadn't felt real grass in years, but this grass was just as smooth as he remembered. It was hot, wherever he was, and it was sunny. He would say Pandora, but... Elpis was missing from the sky when he finally opened his eyes. He was sore and disoriented, so he chose to take a moment to recover before standing up. 

"Say pal..." Rhys looked over to see a tall man with slicked back hair and wearing a fancy suit. "You don't look so good. You should find something to eat before dark." And then he... vanished? Well, Rhys had seen people vanish before, but this didn't seem to be the same situation. There was no technology nearby or on the stranger's person to make him able to vanish. Maybe the guy knew Zero... 

Regardless, Rhys slowly sat up and looked around. Jack was lying nearby and seemed to be stirring as well. Rhys helped him sit up and watched as Jack's eyes blinked against the bright sun and looked around. 

"Where the hell are we? Where did that asshole send us?" He stood up and looked around again, upholstering his pistol. Rhys activated his eye and tried to get his bearings or at least send an SOS, but while it could activate, it wasn't able to connect to the echonet. Rhys skimmed through its functions, scanning Jack as a test. He got the usual information, but there was something else as well. Three icons representing hunger, sanity, and health. Each icon had a percentage next to it, and Rhys had no idea what it meant. This was something he'd never seen before... 

"Well, cupcake?" Jack turned to look at him. "Where are we?" Rhys had activated his palm and once again there were new functions. One hologram held a series of empty slots, another had a small icon of him and Jack standing on a blank page, and the third looked to be some kind of crafting manual. Rhys stared at the new functions in confusion, going though the crafting manual thoroughly. Most of it was locked, but a few things were available: tools, light, dress, survival, food... the stranger had mentioned finding food. 

"I don't know," Rhys finally said. "I'm cut off from the echonet. This doesn't look like any place I've ever been before..." 

Jack huffed and started to walk around. "Well, we aint on Pandora. It's Not Elpis. Not an Eden... guess we'll have to explore a bit if we want to find out... thank god I still got my gun and shield..." 

"There was a man over here," Rhys said, pointing to the spot. "He said we needed to find food before dark. Then he just vanished." Jack raised an eyebrow, but Rhys didn't notice as he was still going over the new functions in his cybernetics. Turns out he had his own sanity, health, and hunger icons as well. What was the point of those? Were they to monitor his own health? He should be able to know whether or not he was hungry or hurt... Well at least now he'd know if Jack was hungry. The CEO had a bad habit of skipping meals... 

"Sure it was real and not a dream?" Jack asked. "You must've hit your head pretty hard. Anyway, that's just common sense. I dunno how long the days are here, but we need to set up a camp before night time." 

"Actually, I think I can answer that," Rhys had found a clock looking thing on his screen. "I think this records the time of day. But I also have this other function for crafting things. If we want a fire, we need some grass and logs. And to get the logs we have to craft an ax from flint and sticks." He looked around and saw several tufts of grass plus some saplings. "So I guess we just collect, craft, and survive?" 

"Ugh... we have to live like bandits," Jack growled and looked like had a nasty taste in his mouth. "At least Helios is taken care of," he looked at his watch. "Timothy will be able to keep things running until we get back. Then I'm gonna slowly kill Wallethead and send what's left of him through the portal, or whatever the hell that thing was." 

"Portal sounds about right," Rhys was already picking grass (scanning it only gave him the description of 'Is grass'). "I wanna know where Assquez got the idea from. It had to be something from here. Maybe something was able to send him a message?" 

"How?" Jack asked, finally looking around to pick up flint. Rhys noticed that everything he picked up vanished and appeared in a slot in the inventory on his palm hologram. Jack had experienced something similar, but he'd found the flint after checking his watch. A row of slots was there on one of the screens as well. Neither of them was really phased by it as it was like the technology back home. Rhys scanned a nearby sapling and read 'A bunch of small twigs. Good for fires, among other things'. He began gathering those as well. 

"Ok," Jack came over to Rhys, looking at the screens on his watch. He had a similar one for his health and such, and another for crafting. "So how do we make stuff? Is this like a digistructor, or..." Rhys shrugged and tapped on the image that said 'ax'. A few seconds later, one appeared in his inventory and his resources depleted. He tapped the ax in his inventory and it appeared in his hand. 

"It IS like a digistructor," he grinned. "Well it seems easy enough." He gave the ax a few swings. Jack fiddled with his watch and then he had his own ax in his hand. 

"Nice," he smiled at his weapon. "Let's get some wood for the fire. If this place is anything like Pandora, we're gonna need a fire." 

"The man also mentioned food," Rhys mused, picking some berries from a nearby bush. ('Red berries are the best!' his eye proclaimed). 

"Gotta be something we can kill and eat around here," Jack shouldered his ax and looked around. "I think I see some rabbits over there..." 

"Plenty of berries," Rhys was starting on another bush. 

"See, cupcake? Just like Pandora. We just need to find out how to get back." He looked around again and found a tree to chop down. "Ugh... reminds me of my childhood..." he muttered under his breath. Rhys didn't hear him as he kept picking berries. This really wasn't so bad. Though it was still foreign to him, he knew how to survive. He'd been down on Pandora before, lived off the land, fought the monsters. This place actually seemed tamer compared to Pandora, more like a pleasant camping trip... 

He was distracted when he heard a gobbling noise. Looking over, he spotted a large turkey. Oh, turkey sounded delicious right about now. Rhys carefully held his ax and tried to sneak over... but the turkey suddenly bolted away. Oh hell no! Rhys was not going hungry tonight. He quickly chased after it, swinging his ax madly. The turkey was a lot faster than it looked, and it managed to keep ahead. Rhys was getting frustrated as he tried to keep up- 

BANG! 

Rhys stuttered to a halt as the turkey promptly exploded, leaving behind two drumsticks. He looked over to see Jack lovingly blowing the smoke from the barrel of his gun and grin next to a pile of logs and pinecones. 

"What would you do without me, princess?" He said. "Pick that up and lets go find a nice spot to camp. Looks like night comes quickly in this world." Rhys glanced at his palm display to confirm that it was dusk. The other animals were heading back to their burrows, but the red and black birds were still flying around. Rhys tried to grab one, but they were too quick. He only managed to scoop up any seeds they left behind. Well, food was food. 

"Ha, this place is too easy," Jack had gathered the wood and was leading Rhys to a clearing. "Back on Pandora, we woulda met something real nasty by now. Varkids, Threshers, Skags, those stupid spiderants... But here? All I see are little bunnies and shit like that. We're gonna survive easy peasy, pumpkin." 

Rhys was still looking at the screens of his palm display, but he smiled. He was happy that Jack was happy. After all, no one was happy if he wasn't. But he couldn't help but think they had just scratched the surface with this world. After all, if he zoomed out on his map display, their icons were tiny in a black expanse. This world was probably way bigger than they thought, and they still had no idea how to get home.

Jack found a good spot and knelt to make a fire. "Let's see... how do I do the thing? Ok, so... press that, and... no, I don't want that... there we go... logs and grass, and.... voila!" A fire appeared before him. He fed it a few logs to make it bigger than sat back. "Man build fire!" Rhys sat next to him and kissed his cheek. 

"My hero," he said. "Look at you, taking such good care of me." He was quickly able to cook the drumsticks and handed one to Jack. 

"Well, I guess I did owe you a vacation," Jack said as he ate. "Still, this place sucks. I haven't roughed it like this in years. Always had something on me besides one gun and a kind of digistructor." Night began to fall and Jack nudged Rhys. "You go ahead and sleep. The fire should keep everything away, and if it doesn't..." he pulled out his gun and twirled it expertly in his fingers. 

"I'm just nervous," said Rhys. "What if there's something worse than bunnies and butterflies out there? You know how on Pandora things would morph into badasses unexpectedly?" 

"Then I'll shoot whatever it is and we'll eat it. That's nature," Jack finished his drumstick and tossed the bone into the darkness. Rhys could swear he heard something eat it, but couldn't see anything. He set his own bone down and scanned Jack as the other stoked the fire. Everything looked ok with his stats, so that was good. He was going to be worrying about Jack even more than normal, he could tell... 

~O~ 

Rhys woke up to a bright morning with Jack snoring loudly beside him. His clock display proclaimed 'Day 2', and Rhys wondered how many days they would be stuck here. How much time was passing at Helios? Would this be like those weird stories where they would come back to find that thousands of years had passed? He sure hoped not... 

They ate a breakfast of berries and carrots and then extinguished the fire (Rhys collected the pile of ash for his inventory. He figured it might come in handy later). The terrain changed after an hour of walking, becoming a more flat and treeless area. Bunnies were running rampant, and Jack tried to catch one, not wanting to waste another bullet. Rhys found a trap he could make, and made a few, but the bunnies would just hop around them. After a few minutes of this, Jack had an idea. He began moving the traps over by the rabbit holes... then he would scare the bunnies. The little bunnies would screech and run for cover, only to be caught in the trap. Jack laughed victoriously, and they were soon munching on cooked rabbit meat. 

"God, this place is seriously easy," said Jack. "I almost wanna know what the catch is." 

"Please don't jinx it," Rhys said as he extinguished the fire. "You don't know-" 

"Hello!" They looked over to see a nearby figure waving their hand in the air. "I am a friendly human wishing to meet you! May I please approach, and would you kindly not attack?" 

Jack narrowed his eyes, hand already on his gun holster. Rhys shook his head and grabbed Jack's hand. 

"He might attack us," Jack growled. 

"He might know how to get out of here," Rhys countered. "If he tries to attack then you can kill him." Jack didn't look happy, but Rhys stood up. "Hey! Come on over, we don't bite!" 

"Why would you bite?" The man sounded confused as he walked over. On closer inspection, Rhys saw that he was wearing a white shirt, red vest, and that his dark hair was even more ridiculously styled than Jack's. He was tall and lanky, but a bit shorter than Rhys. 

"Hello," he said in a polished accent. "I'm so happy to see other people here... Usually there are nothing but those horrid spiders, tentacles, or even the giants. It's nice to finally see a friendly face!" 

Rhys had a bad feeling that this new guy had just handed them the catch to this place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really freaking love this game. Of course I made it super easy for myself by customizing a few things, but it's still fun. I just hatched a tallbird egg and have the little chick following me around (I named him Rhys). Thanks for your support so far. Please leave a comment to let me know what you think or what you want to see.

**Author's Note:**

> So... guess what game I just got a few days ago? Now that I'm not constantly dying in it I'm having fun. Granted, I tweaked the world to be easier, but I just want a game I can explore and build stuff in. Please comment and tell me what you think.


End file.
